Matthew 22:37-39

Matthew 22:37-39

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Take Captive Every Thought


I struggle with this word far too often.

My human mind playing games + satan's schemes=fear.

Sickness/fever strike fear in my heart always when it comes to my children. 

My mind can't separate this from the night my son died. He had a fever, and shortly after that he died. But deep down in my heart, I know it is different, that the situation is not the same as that August night.

But when my daughter gets sick, I think she too will die and we will have no warning. My heart goes into shock and panic starts. And I think once Israel is home I will have that fear with him getting a fever too. 

Fear makes some nights hard as I check my daughter's pulse or chest to make sure she is breathing. 

And satan starts the blame game on my heart and he begins to try to destroy.

Our adoption papers are now with the higher judge. And from day one I have feared that the judge will not rule in our favor, and that we will loose another son.

My worst fear came true once, my human mind reminds me.

And I realize this is a fault and sin of mine.

I can't live in this fear. I can't let it consume me and my thoughts. It isn't healthy and I don't like my family seeing me like this. I don't want my children to learn this behavior. 

I need to trust in His plans. I need to rest in His peace. I need to continue to place my children in His palms, trusting that He is good.

I need to take captive Every thought and make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

1 comment:

Alana said...

Sweet Janna...praying for you. It's a tough battle. The boys and I have been praying for you all and Israel and asking God to give you peace in this process...every day. Love to you all!