I dislike planners. I dislike calendars. I get annoyed with timelines.
You see I struggle with control and all these things help me control. I realize I only have total peace when I let it all go. I see Jesus more and His work when I open my eyes to His goodness and plans.
Why do we set up our life and timeline the way we want it and then beg God to do it our way Why do we think we know best? And then we are completely devastated when things don't go as we planned. We are left doubting God and His purpose. I do this and desire to be free.
The past year I have felt such freedom. Freedom from control, from planning and simply just letting Jesus. And he has shown His goodness in mighty ways, ways I didn't foresee or plan.
Moving to California.
Healing our hearts a little more each day.
Giving us hope, grace, strength, and love.
Adopting our second son.
We just got back from spending a week with our son Israel. He is amazing and loud, funny and sweet. And we didn't plan these things but God did from the very beginning.
I got to watch my daughter's prayers unfold in two parts, as she got to know her little brother and also as she got to meet her birth sister. God answered her prayers in ways we didn't plan but in ways He put forth into motion. He gave me a renewed hope in her child like faith.
He is for us. He sees us and hears us. And He has plans for us. And when I let go, I see Him more clearly and have such freedom. Thank you Jesus. Keep opening my eyes.