Two years ago this week my sweet baby boy Gavin was having his heart surgery in Taiwan.
I remember those days like they were yesterday. I remember journaling to Gavin my thoughts and my feelings; my thoughts of being away from him at such a time like that. I was so broken being away from him. I loved him so much already, and I hadn't even met him yet. I fell in love with him the moment Ted and Bev called us, the moment I got to look at the picture of him they sent via email and see his big dark brown eyes and his huge smile. He was my son.
I wanted to hold him through the entire surgery. I wanted to pray with him before and after the surgery and hold his sweet little hand. I wanted to be there when he woke up, to sing to him, kiss him and love him while he was recovering. I wanted to be with him while he recovered from such a big surgery for such a little baby.
But I wasn't there, and that was so extremely hard.
But I found comfort and peace knowing HE was there with my sweet boy.
So I journaled those very words.
Lord, thank you for holding my son when I can't. Lord, thank you for healing my son when I can't. Lord, thank you for having a plan and purpose for my son. Lord, thank you for loving your son Gavin and choosing me of all people to be his mommy.
I never knew I would be whispering the same words, the same prayers through my tears each night as my heart is aching and broken.
But I find comfort and peace knowing HE is with my sweet boy.
And I keep praying and crying out to my Father.
Lord, thank you for holding my son when I can't. Lord, thank you for healing my son when I can't. Lord, thank you for having a plan and purpose for my son. Lord, thank you for loving your son Gavin, and choosing me of all people to be his mommy.
And while these are my own feelings of desiring to be with my baby boy, brothers and sisters, this love compares nothing to what my God feels for Gavin, what my God feels for each and every one of you! And oh how we must hurt our Father time and time again when we choose the things of this world, the things the devil tempts us with, rather than choosing True Life with our Lord!
Oh how I pray we all see how God loves us! He created us all and He cherishes each and every one of us. He loved us so much He sent His very own Son to die for us, to bridge the gap so that we could live with Him forever. He has made a home for us, He desires us and is waiting for us to simply choose Him.
Choose Him now, for this is all that matters in life......
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.
And Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;
and whoever lives and believes in me will never die!"
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1
I will extol the Lord at all times, His praise will always be on my lips.