Still learning

So since early February we have been waiting for IRS to make their decision on our tax adoption credits. It is such a blessing this was even offered, but at the same time I wish it wasn't. It has been one thing after another. We have sent every possible paper and receipt in that we have for our adoptions, and they just keep sending more letters asking for more verification, or saying we have to wait 30 more days. We have called so many times too. But this week after calling once again and being told to wait another 60 days and also hearing that not one person had even looked at our case yet, I was done.
I keep saying I will just trust God through it all but I haven't completely. I keep checking the status when all along I should be just praying, waiting and trusting. I keep running the numbers through my head of the debt we could pay off with this money, when I should just be praying and trusting.
I struggle with money, so much to a point that I know I need to let it go and have Brennan take charge of paying bills and overseeing it all.
So thankful for being in ministry 8 years now and seeing how God has provided for us. He provides for our everyday needs and we are so blessed. He provided for our two adoptions when the money wasn't there to see visually. But I still worry, fret, and calculate how we will get bills paid.
And what a slap that is to God each time I do this. He constantly provides for us, for our every day need and I continue to check up on Him, to make sure all is well and that we are taken care of. How very selfish that is of me. Oh God change me please! I am still learning in so many ways.
These verse has helped me this week.
Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Thankful for His words that continue to change me, mold me, shape me into who He wants me to be. Still learning everyday.